Song of the Week:
never been in love by: Gatlin
California Gurl
When I was deciding my future at the ripe age of 18, I was not focused on the logistics of how life really works. I pictured independence — living on my own, finding my element, away from the family that had taken care of me my entire life. Sacramento didn’t call to me for any particular reason; I just figured “it’s the capital of California, so why not?” Little did I know, people haAAAaaAaAaate Sacramento — though, I’d argue, without much reason.
Moving Away from Home
Personally, I enjoy a quiet city life. I want all the offerings of a city, but I also want the streets to be silent by 8 PM. I want to see skyscrapers and unique architecture, but I also crave beautiful natural landscapes. I value community, but at the same time, I don’t want people to not bother me. I find joy in both worlds, so it’s hard for me to say whether I am a city girl, a country girl, or maybe somewhere in between.
With a background like mine, moving isn’t much an obstacle, nor is the question whether I can do it. The big question is: Where?
Finding a place to call home is such a strange concept to me. I never felt right or felt a connection to places I have lived. Instead, I had to learn to live through the discomfort and assimilate to my environments. And it worked at the time but slowly my soul was craving a place to call home.
A lot of people have the wrong idea of me for leaving San Diego. Many people think their home is the place where you were born or where you were raised, but I have always questioned that assumption. For me it was about outgrowing my shell, and that reason alone was enough to leave for a new home. It wasn’t an easy decision, and everyone had their reasons why I should stay – the beaches, my community, the weather, the food. In my eyes I saw none of those as reasons to stay but instead predictability.
I firmly believe choosing a place to live is a give and take. No place is one hundred percent perfect— especially not in today’s economy. So, finding the “right” place is a personal decision. On a deeper level, the quality of life you choose is tied to the city you pick. Since we have a standard living quality that many of us take for granted, we don’t always think about what that means. Laws exist to uphold basic human needs, but how strictly they’re enforced depends on what local governments prioritize for their citizens. Do they care about cleanliness? Walkability? Smog levels? Safety?
That brings me to Sacramento, once you get to know it, check most if not all my boxes. It snuck up on me. I find myself defending the scorching summers as a bonus since it keeps the crowd away! What people do know is the real magic that happens in the fall and winter. When the leaves turn brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow, and the air gets crisp. It’s the perfect weather for a hot bowl of ramen or pho. Night out with friends becomes cozy nights in. You can start layering up and drive to see the snow. All is peaceful, all is just right. Funny enough I am neither a winter person nor autumn but somehow, I have fallen in love.
Sacramento has given me the space to think about the kind of future I want. Most importantly, it’s taught me this crucial lesson: A city will never cater to you, it will have its beauty side and its beast side. It is about your willingness to perceive it in all its glory. To thrive, to figure out how to create your perfect city. After years of living here, I’ve come to realize that it’s not about finding the perfect city- it’s about making peace with the imperfections.
Find Love
I have “never been in love” with a city which is quite literally the song of the week by Gatlin. This song describes finding love that perfectly captures like it was written for me. I have tried the east coast, different country, west coast but never fit me. Until I came across the one who changed my entire perspective and that’s all it took to create my own home. It shaped my experience to open myself to a feeling of belonging. And it clicked.
Thank you for joining me on this journey at The Unfinished Times. Don’t forget to follow me for more insightful content, give a shout-out to spread the word, and consider signing up for our Co-Collective to be part of our vibrant community. And if you missed any posts from previous weeks, take a moment to catch up! Let’s continue exploring, sharing, and growing together! Lots of life-ing is happening, so all I ask is a bit of grace<3 See you in the next post~XOXO
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