Falling Behind or Was I Just Finding Myself?

Hermit in my Shell

Over the years, I’ve become increasingly reclusive—not so much within myself, but with my non-immediate circle. For years, I barely talked to anyone. I didn’t reach out for help, reminisce about old memories, or even share a song with someone. So, when I was brainstorming segments for this blog, I felt embarrassed to include an entire section dedicated to friendships.

Sure, maybe calling it "relationships" would sound more mature, but I didn’t want people to think I was talking about romantic love. Deep down, I wanted to explore platonic love— the kind that feels underrated, even dismissed, as something childish. Society seems to expect that by the time you’re 30, friendships fade away, replaced by an obsession with leveling up or embracing "independence." And while there’s nothing wrong with those pursuits, I couldn’t shake the feeling that friendships—true, meaningful ones—deserved more attention.

Through this blog, I’ve found myself opening up—not just here, but to actual people. And it’s weird!

At the start of the year, my circle was tiny. I had three main contacts: my mom/brother, my sister, and my boyfriend. We’d talk every day for hours on end. As much as I love my family for being there for me, it got exhausting hearing the same stories on repeat. Then everything changed. I got a job, moved to Midtown, and started living with a roommate. Suddenly, my social interactions skyrocketed. Now, I strike up conversations with baristas, cashiers, and servers—basically anyone. I even joined a book club, like who am I?!

Now I Can't Shut Up

This shift has been life-changing, but it’s also left me wondering about the importance of human connection being a necessity. Studies on solitary confinement have shown how lack of interaction can lead to severe psychological distress, even hallucinations. It’s a stark reminder of how much we depend on others, even for the smallest of conversations and interactions.

A simple “good morning” or “top of the evening” when you pass people by can spark a moment of connection, however brief. It’s a small acknowledgment that says, “I see you,” and sometimes that’s all it takes to brighten someone’s day—or your own. These little exchanges remind us that we’re part of a larger community, where kindness and recognition can ripple out in unexpected ways (which is why I hate it when people wear Airpods when they walk because not only is it dangerous, but we miss the opportunity to connect. Take them out, enjoy a tech-free walk!).

While my life is nowhere near solitary confinement, I think back to the years I spent in my own self-imposed isolation. I didn’t realize just how much I was missing until I started truly opening up—right here, on this blog. Ironically, it was my isolation that pushed me to begin this project. Without it, these thoughts and ideas they might have remained locked away in my mental vault, never seeing the light of day. And honestly, how sad would that have been?

 Conversations, no matter how small, are threads that weave us into the larger fabric of society. They remind us we’re not alone—that someone sees us, hears us, and maybe even understands us. It’s why we instinctively seek connection, whether through words, glances, or even silence shared with another. Quite frankly I think as we progress further into technology the less, we lose our humanity and trust in each other. The next time you’re in line at the coffee shop or passing a neighbor on the street, take a moment to say hello. It might seem small, but every conversation matters. Who knows? It could change your day—or theirs. Of course, no one owes you a poetic exchange, but a simple greeting is often enough to spark a positive interaction. This small act of genuine friendliness can have a snowball effect, creating ripples of kindness and connection.

Somewhere in the Middle

If solitary confinement teaches us anything, it’s that human interaction is essential. It’s not about being introverted or extroverted— labels that, frankly, we should reconsider. For some reason, the early 2000s generation became obsessed with using these terms to define ourselves. Why? I’m not entirely sure, but what I do know is that these labels often miss the mark. Human connection is far too complex to be boxed into simple categories.

Maybe we clung to these terms because they felt like answers— ways to understand ourselves in a world that constantly demands self-definition. We’re all a blend of traits, shifting depending on our surroundings, our moods, or even who we’re talking to. Some days, I thrive in solitude; other days, I’m energized by the buzz of conversation with strangers. And that’s okay. We don’t need a definitive label to validate how we engage with the world.

What really matters is that we seek connection—whether it’s a deep conversation with a close friend or a quick smile shared with a stranger. These moments remind us of our humanity, of the fact that we’re not navigating this life alone.

So maybe the goal isn’t to figure out if we’re introverts or extroverts. Maybe the goal is to focus on building connections that matter, however big or small they may be. After all, it’s these connections that make life richer, fuller, and, quite honestly, worth it. It’s about recognizing that connection is what keeps us grounded. And maybe that’s the real takeaway—that in every conversation, we find a little more of ourselves.

Everyone is Falling in Line

It took me a long time to get here, but I’m grateful to have a real lesson to show for it. You know me— I can’t truly learn something until I’ve lived through it. All I can do now is grow from this awareness and hope that by the end of 2025, I’ll have made some groundbreaking progress.

In the meantime, let’s take it one step at a time. This week’s song is “Falling Behind” by Laufey. Her sweet, angelic voice paired with beautiful jazzy instruments creates such a soothing vibe. I really connect with this song because, like Laufey, I haven’t found my “pair” yet, and it often feels like I’m falling behind. It seems like everyone has their sidekick or ride-or-die, while I’m just getting started. I’m learning to be a good friend, to give more in conversations, and to embrace the patience it takes to build meaningful bonds. Relationships don’t happen with the snap of a finger, but the feeling of lagging behind is something I’m still working through.

Enjoy This Journey With Me

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

Enjoy This Journey With Me ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

This isn’t the end—just a bookmark in the conversation. Stories don’t really close; they unfold, shift, and find new voices. If this one stirred something in you, let it breathe. Leave a thought, challenge an idea, or carry it forward in your own way. And if you ever feel like wandering through more unfinished thoughts, you know where to find me. Let’s keep the conversation alive. ~XOXO