Rethinking Adult Friendships or Redefining Quality Time?

Song Of The Week

If you’ve been craving a tune that dances between the shadows and the spotlight, look no further than "Strange" by Celeste. With a voice that drips honey but burns like an errant bee sting, Celeste takes us on a soulful journey through the twisted maze of emotions that accompany change and nostalgia.

Right from the start, the mood is set with a delicate piano riff that could charm the socks off a statue—just don’t expect it to give them back. Her vocals glide over subtle beats like a fog rolling in on a cool autumn morning, calming yet foreboding. You can almost taste the bittersweetness of memories long buried but strangely alive, flitting just out of reach.

Lyrically, the song explores the struggles of identity and the sensation of being out of place, a feeling we can all relate to at one point or another. Celeste's lyrics ruminate on the oddities that life throws at us, asking questions that poke at the heart like a persistent little mosquito.

The chorus swells with an intensity that makes you want to wave your arms in the air like you just don’t care—only to be brought back to reality with celestial whispers and heart-tugging harmonies. It’s that perfect blend of empowerment mixed with vulnerability; you might just find yourself belting out the words in the shower, contemplating your life choices and doing a little impromptu ballet dance.

In the ever-expanding universe of music, "Strange" stands out like a comet in a sky full of stars. It’s fabulous, it’s funky, and it captures the essence of feeling out of sync with the world while still vibing to your own cosmic beat.

Adulthood Friends

Before I got a part time job, I was available literally 24/7 - with no kids, no job, no major responsibility, time was on my side. During this time, I was able to grasp just how much time we have in a day. I know people always say the classic “I don’t have time for this,” when something inconvenient or annoying happens. Hell, I still say that, even though I used to believe that was true! But turns out we do in fact have time for that. We just have to make time for it. 

Fast forward to the present, where I now work part time - only 20 hours a week, and guess what? I still have time! Yes, I know it is only because I work part time, which now is considered a luxury. Which is why I can’t imagine those who work full-time jobs trying to balance adulthood and other obligations that life dealt them. This system truly wasn’t built for us, and I hope this generation or if not us the next will end this ridiculous 40-hour work week.

Anyways, as an adult now I think we need to reshape the way we hang out with our friends until we abolish the 40-hour work week. With that, let's talk about what I mean and get you on the right side of this.

Adult Hacking

Having time as an adult is truly finite; time is a luxury and a weird concept. But becoming an adult is ten times as tricky and weird and frustrating and… just ugh! Most parents I know, who are Gen X, believe that as soon as you turn 18, you’re an adult. In the eyes of the government plus the police then logically to everyone else. Not so fast! This rhetoric actually diminishes what an adult actually is! Being 18 you aren’t granted anything, I mean, you can finally vote and go to jail. Big whoop! To actually be an adult is less about what kind of laws now apply to you instead it’s more like collecting infinity stones. Capturing all of them, it’s gonna take some serious battles, some serious sacrifices and a whole lot of trial and error to get six tiny, but mighty stones. Adulthood is that process and to acknowledge yourself as a key player is being an adult. That’s the best way to put it.1

Why is this relevant? Well, as you're trying to collect these stones there is a part B. That includes about a million other things happening that revolve around taking care of yourself. Like how we find time to cook, go grocery shopping, clean, work, start a side hustle, run errands, do laundry, have a partner, go to the gym, go to therapy, visit family, and then hang out with friends?!

Whenever adults want to hangout these days it always seems to only encompass these three things: eating, drinking or clubbing. Since I can’t handle alcohol, all my friends know we can’t go drinking, I would literally be throwing money away or get something non-alcoholic which I can do somewhere, literally, anywhere else. On the other options, I am taken so going clubbing without my partner, to me or to us, is not our style. We are in bed, clean, bonnet on, popcorn popped, with cut pear slices, watching Grey’s Anatomy by 8 PM. So, that really leaves me with only one option, eating out. While I love to eat out, recently… I have hit a rut. Instead of having fun, it has become a not-so- fun activity, especially when trying to figure out where to eat takes just as long to figure out a trigonometry equation. It's not anyone’s fault dietary restrictions or not liking certain foods, cost and just ability to get to the restaurant all are major factors that aren’t controllable. As an adult, this is ‘my’ main way of hanging out with my friends. It’s time to retire these activities, it Is time to broaden our horizon to other unique and fun activities.

Take out clubbing, drinking and eating as fun activities to do on weekends. For those who work full time, having to do all those tasks mentioned above is damn near impossible. Even with prioritizing your time correctly or time blocking or whatever way you plan your time, I still believe it is impossible. Because essentially, what happens over time is the focus shift to managing one aspect of life and that tends to be just trying to take care of yourself. Yes, having fun is taking care of yourself but there are still those infinity stones you gotta collect to get your adult badge of honor.

Hand Out, For a Hand In

Furthermore, if you aren’t convinced, another reason I am trying to direct you in a new way is because I believe those activities- eating, drinking, clubbing- are really distant. I believe vulnerability is lost in the sauce when I think there are better ways to connect with people, to access that vulnerable state. The most damning reason behind that is, well, you’re in public when you do those activities. Public You versus Private You are two different people. And Private You is just you at home in PJs. Speaking for myself, I am not going to talk about life in full honesty in public. To get to have vulnerable conversations starts with the environment and the energy in the room. I don’t think public settings really hit the mark on that because it requires a deeper level of comfortability for yourself actually in the setting. Although it could be cool, I find it extremely difficult these days to accomplish this.

Rather than trying to accomplish that, let's go to a place we already know to be comfortable, home or regular places. Just like the regular activities you do as an adult trying to survive. Example: grocery shopping or the gym. Hang out by doing basic adult activities! We already regularly do them anyways, might as well have a buddy to be by your side; that’s killing two birds with one stone. And maybe afterwards you can cook a meal together or do some crafts. Plus, think about all the money you can save, not drinking or eating out! I think it is genius! If it sounds like I am describing a romantic relationship and not a friendship, news flash, they’re the same thing so we should treat it as such.

I truly believe that this is the only way to create the bond I am looking for; just a couple girls out at Trader Joe’s with carts full of salads, kombucha and Baguette breads. And we all go to each other’s house to put the groceries away, cook a meal and just chat all day. Obviously, an ultimate downside to this is that you have to live close like a mile or two or it won’t work as well. Willing to make it work and choosing to put time into is ultimately the choice of the beholder. 

Let That Simmer

That’s why this week’s song of the week is about the opposite of making those choices. The sad nature of not putting in effort will regress the bond and by the end all we will ever be are strangers. It reminds me of all the past friendships I’ve had and how I still call them my friends even though we haven’t talked in years. I like to hold on to what we had even if the time passed is greater than our friendship. I guess it could be due to social media and my romanticized idea of knowing people. That's why we needed to find better ways to engage with each other and keep the flame alive. Anyways, Strangers by Celeste is beautifully composed, a bit slow on the tempo but just highlights her voice even more. She allows us to focus on her lyricism by having such a soft touch on the piano and the sweet violin. I really enjoy this song; it makes me think I can sing LOL.

Enjoy This Journey With Me

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

Enjoy This Journey With Me ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °

This isn’t the end—just a bookmark in the conversation. Stories don’t really close; they unfold, shift, and find new voices. If this one stirred something in you, let it breathe. Leave a thought, challenge an idea, or carry it forward in your own way. And if you ever feel like wandering through more unfinished thoughts, you know where to find me. Let’s keep the conversation alive. ~XOXO