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Real-Life Joker

You all know me by noooooow. I am a little coo-coo, a little cute and a little wild. But so are you since you are here with me! On this beautiful Wednesday, I am your writer here at The Unfinished Times here to build connection one moment at a time with one question at time. This week I bring forth a query to you all that never fails to stir fascinating discussion: if you found yourself in the shoes of the President of the United States, wielding the power to enact any ruling. What do you do with all that power? Hold your horses! There is a catch, you only get one rule with no overrule or no no’s. It will stay with you all four years.

The Conundrum

In this hypothetical scenario, our familiar laws still abides except for your new rule. This coveted presidency isn’t just handed over; it is earned by the virtue of the rule you created, meaning yes, it has to be that good. Let’s be clear – this is not a platform for hate or divisiveness.

With all the problems in the United States it is impossible to provide capitalist solutions to address systemic problems. So, when I ask this question, I want you to focus on something that is near and dear to you. At the same time, think of an innovative solution to go with it. I said only one rule, you only get one! So, it’s important to sit and think deeply about your answer. While you do that, I will provide you some context behind my one rule.

As a proud Californian, my loyalty lies with preserving and protecting my home state. Having called California home for over a decade there is a quintessential meal that embodies the California spirit. Everyone here loves it, everyone who visits craves a bite; that is In-n-Out. This sacred place is not only a burger joint but a gastronomical representation of the California dream. In n Out establishments are deeply fabricated into our culture, you can find a location in every city, -up and down the entire state! The natural landscape of California alone is enough to draw in people, so when you add having In-N-Out into the mix. This state becomes unbeatable- like what more could you ask for?

The problem isn’t In-N-Out, the problem is California’s ever-increasing popularity for those who want to get a taste of the Bear State. One downside of being from California is the lack of housing and affordability. The starting cost for buying a home in California is 400,000 DOLLARS and the price only goes up from there. Many people who own a house here bought, during the 2008 recession. Instead of doing that, I was in the third-grade learning multiplication. Frickin’ multiplication! Talk about the wrong person, wrong time.

Now this housing crisis is due to a lot of reasons: cost of living, poor housing policies, low wages, and lack of generational wealth across families, etc. The primary reason for this lack of affordable housing that I’d want to eliminate would be those who buy homes in California for vacation or rental. If you have a vacation home in CA…. it means you have money MONEY. Which congrats, good for you – but for people like me who don’t come from money, it is extremely difficult – damn near impossible, to afford a house. Plus, since it is a vacation home, the likelihood of someone spending more than three months out of the year here are low and the chances of them renting the poverty is high. And for the people like me who want to stay 365 days are affected by the astronomical prices of real estate. “Holding is such a good investment.” or “This house will double in price in five years.” or “Fix this up and start Airbnb-ing or rent it out.” all that mumbo jumbo real estate jargon for people to make more money. When I just want a house! A place to put all my stuff. Is that too much to ask for?

Hello, Mr. President

So, here is my modest proposal: enforce a new regulation for owning property in CA. If wish to lay claim in the Golden State, you gotta show your dedication to the California dream. By showing proof, well, an In-N-Out receipt every two weeks. Every household in all of California must submit new receipts to the government to verify residency and love.

This seemingly wild mandate serves two purposes: not only will this bring profit to In-N-Out but also the government since taxes are a thing. You might be skeptical of enforcement logistics. Well guess what? I will be creating new jobs – a dedicated task force- to handle all the paperwork with the new money I get from In-n-Out’s taxes. And don’t worry if your vegan or vegetarian, you aren’t left out. Instead of receipts there will be a submission requirement of a 300 -word essay. I understand your lifestyle is valid so express them in an essay due every six months.

Seems like a lot of work, right? You might even be scoffing at the bureaucracy. Well, that is exactly the point! I believe no one would want to do this. Especially those who just want a vacation home or plan to rent it out. By implementing hurdles people wouldn’t put in this much work – which is the intended purpose- unless they truly want to be here. I didn’t choose In-n-Out because of its’ tasty burgers but also because you cannot door dash it or uber eats at the comfort of your location. You must go to the brick-and-mortar restaurant building or drive thru to place an order. The underlying meaning is you have to be California!

On the other hand, a person residing in California would find this relatively easy. In-n-Out is cheap- I didn’t put a price minimum for a reason- it is in every city and has more than meat to serve. You could simply buy fries or a T-shirt or milkshake every six months. Bare minimum is a quarterly visit. Personally, I eat In-n-Out waaay more than that so owning a house would be a piece of cake. I think it’s a win-win for everyone involved.

Reforming is the Key to Society

I have many more ideas up my sleeve that deal with other problems like teacher pay and using the NFL etc. I find this a fun activity for my brain to problem solve because this country seems to be falling apart little by little. This is my way of caring about the government since sometimes it feels so unbearable and trapped. Coming up with creative ideas – that could possible never work- is a way to dismantle all those feelings. Give it a shot and really think about how you could fix this place up. Which leads me to this week’s song of the week, Possum Queen by Rainbow Kitten Surprise.

This song, personally, is underrated but somehow expresses how I feel about the government. The idea of power in a relationship when there shouldn’t be causing miscommunication, unwanted feelings, the ‘who’s fault is it’ comments. Finally realizing the only way to understand is to be free. Rainbow Kitten Surprise is a super weird name for a band yet, don’t knock them out till you listen to their music. Their choice of lyrics to go with which melody is absolutely artistic ingenuity. They are on a different level one. My favorite things about them is some—I want to say like 80 percent—of songs never have the same lyrics, never the same chorus nor bridge. Yet they are able to tie it all together in a nice bow and sound amazing.

If you have fun with this little thought experiment stay tuned for next week where we will dive into some backlash people could have about my solution. Yeah, yeah, I know this is a free country… but is it really?

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Thank you for joining me on this journey at The Unfinished Times! Don’t forget to follow me for more insightful content, give a shout-out to spread the word, and consider signing up for our Co-Collective to be part of our vibrant community. And if you missed any posts from previous weeks, take a moment to catch up! Let’s continue exploring, sharing, and growing together! See you in the next post~ XOXO

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