Song of the Week:
Country by: Racoma
We Can Work it Out
When I try to envision my future or the future in general, my mind draws a blank. No image is created, my mind is completely bare, which is rare, just something about it that my brain struggles to imagine. My inability to find a big girl job shuts off a lot of doors for me but every day I am met with new doors. Doors that allow me to think outside the box and dig deeper into my potential. And someone like me, having these new doors, of course makes me feel undeserving and overall stressed. I am grateful for my circumstances because they allow me to be myself and think as if nobody was watching me. I never could have imagined this reality for myself, and I want to bask in this feeling without feeling icky.
So, allow me to introduce you to my five-year plan. Well, all the ideas I want to accomplish in the next five years. They stem from personal growth, career abilities to small things like owning a pink car. In my opinion, life is so full of things, people, places, activities and I want to fit them all in one lifetime.
Think Ahead
As a child, growing up in the early 2000ās there was a lot of media for us to consume and my favorite was watching Disney Princesses. I loved the idea of each princess having their own dress and theme that encompassed their story. And the story of finding their lover has always been something I dreamed of. And it came true for me teehee. Ultimately, watching movies and shows like this led to me planning my own special events. Not with who but what would I be wearing, the theme, the colors, the people, what they would wear etc.
As I got older I kind of forgot about them, kind of because my style changed, and I was in different circumstances than what I thought at 5. Obviously, I did not go to Prom in a heart neckline, mermaid style, hot pink, and zebra dress with 9-inch stilettos that are also hot pink and zebra. I clearly grew up with a mom that loved animal print since I was confident that I could rock that look. But this was the beginning of my life plan, I have passed all those quintessential young adult milestones and now life is just life-ing.
Personally, my plan was done once I graduated college so much, so I didnāt even look at my degree until about a year later. Seriously it was shipped to my momās house, and I just completely ignored it. During that year, I listened to one very important podcast episode by my girl, Mel Robbins.1 I will add the link for you to listen to the whole thing at the end and if you are in your 20ās I highly recommend you do. It was one piece of advice that healed me, that allowed me to dream big, to not give any fucks about what my peers or degree meant. She called it āThe Great Scatterā from 18-30. We all enter this part of life with no roadmap, no help, and no clear definitive markers of life standards. Notice how the range is after obligatory school, a place where there are clear, distinctive zones and markers of time and progress, then after you have lived in The Great Scatter for at least a decade, by this time be adapted to lifeās ups and downs.
Hearing this, which was only a month ago, I was āYES! This! This is exactly how it is! The American people need this!ā. Once I heard this the pressure to think ahead just āpoof! disappearedā not only does no one else know what they are doing but this gives you a pass, an ultimate pass. To do whatever the fuck you want, seriously. People are out here trying things for the first time and seeing if it sticks. This can be so freeing for some of us that suffer from always worrying about what others think about us. I was beating myself up for not having my life thought out thus far and combined that with what others are doing; I was a wreck. My mind would not shut up and social media only amplified it.
Be Who You Want to Be
Understanding The Great Scatter eliminates comparison and in return allows me to think of who I want to be. The year after graduating my year was filled with trying to figure out who I was outside of school. I read a lot of self-help books and watched a ton of YouTube videos about people ās personal testimony, took a ton of career quizzes like one does. I was in so deep my family would send me their own findings and I would process to dissect them. That is when I stumbled across an old Japanese test2, ikigai, that asked you character questions to see what you valued in life. It was how I realized that I loved design as a whole, not as segments. I could not boil down to being one type of designer when I want to be it all. Hint, hint.
It is not like I needed the test to tell me that because if I just looked inward, I could have come to the same conclusion. But I didnāt. That is partially because of what I ranted about last week. If you werenāt here for that the general gist of it was attacking professionalism in this capitalist country, America. And how even through crisis, depression, absolute mental and physical exhaustion we, the American people, have to act professional. All to get that bag which inertly kills our dreams to push ourselves into something we hate. When I put it like that all I want to do is rebel. The way to do that you may ask, well, I already revealed your answer.
Analyzing a specific part of life, an easy one is past employment. Ask yourself from all the jobs you have handled up to this point, what was your overall pet peeve? My answer was easy again, it was the fact that the people who get paid the big bucks donāt actually know how to do their job effectively or efficiently. I distinctly remembered every closing shift we would be stuck for 2 hours because people worked way too slow or didnāt delegate tasks well. That all changed when I became manager, my fastest close was 30 minutes because I know how to manage time well and delegate tasks efficiently. Here I started to ask myself, āhow do I become a boss?ā Hint, hint.
Another route you can try is asking yourself, āin what parts of my life do I show discipline?ā For myself I knew instantly, the gym. I really enjoy the gym but in the beginning I never did. I didnāt start liking the gym until I was pushed to my limits with weightlifting. I thought all it would do was make me bulky and manly muscular. However, I was just naĆÆve and didnāt understand the human body. Since then, I have become a huge believer in weightlifting but every time I meet women, they all say the same thing about weightlifting. Just like I was, they wouldnāt see it as an opportunity to become the person they want to be. I have come out from the other side; I have seen the results and now I have been converted. Itās no easy task without the guidance of my personal trainer so, I want to be that guidance for other women. Hint, hint.
And when you take all these hints into account, what do you get? You get someone who can manage their own schedule, creating, and specializing in helping others achieve their goals. And that is who I want to become.
One with Self
Somewhere along the way of growing up I tore my past self with my current self from my future self. Dealing with three separations of me is exactly what society does to the soul. It is also what it wants. And this weekās song is a reminder that we need to come back together just like the good ole days. When life wasn’t life-ing this hard. Once you reach that point, you can work it out that nagging feeling of what is this life. Country by Racoma is a perfect blend of the country blues and melodies that make my heart sing. The reminiscing of the days when you felt complete whole, begging for the missing piece of you to come back, ah so good! I could listen to this song on repeat for days. Which is why it is perfect for this week! The calming drums paired with heavenly singing will seduce your brain to take the time to ask yourself these questions. The time to rebel.
Anyways, thank you for joining me on this journey at The Unfinished Times! Don’t forget to follow me for more insightful content, give a shout-out to spread the word, and consider signing up for our Co-Collective to be part of our vibrant community. And if you missed any posts from previous weeks, take a moment to catch up! Let’s continue exploring, sharing, and growing together! See you in the next post~XOXO
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