Song of the Week:
Mr. Cadillac by: Mac Saturn
Excuse me
On my quest to better myself, I’ve been stepping out of my shell and meeting new people—more specifically, new people at work. I’ve had coworker friends in the past, but none of them ever made it out of the workplace. It’s kind of like when I was a kid and would go out with my parents on weekends to run errands. There was always that rare chance I’d see my teachers. It felt rude not to say hello, but also super awkward because, well, they were living their lives too, which usually led to awkward small talk!
As an adult, hanging out with coworkers outside of work feels the same way—awkward until you break the ice. But once you do, that’s when the real fun starts. However, setting boundaries can be tricky. So, let’s dive into the ins and outs of coworker dynamics and how we can break those boundaries.
Talk that Talk
Workplace drama is really how a friendship blossoms. If you hear some juicy gossip, the only person who would understand is another coworker. Choosing the right person is critical because you want to add your two cents—and that’s where trust comes in. Talking behind someone’s back can get you fired… but only if you get caught. So, trust is of utmost importance from the beginning. Over time, inside jokes and shared laughter will start to feel normal—the beauty of coworker friendships.
Once trust and comfort are established, the bond moves outside. Once you’re outside, there are no rules, no distractions, no interruptions—and especially no work to be done. You can go out for drinks, grab a bite to eat, hike, or hit the farmer’s market. Truly enjoy each other’s company without the company! But then, what do you talk about?
More work drama? Sure, but that can only last about 30 minutes. There need to be new topics and dreams to explore together. The thing about coworkers is that you only know each other through work. So, the basics are covered, but to blossom, the conversation needs to go deeper. It’s easier said than done. Work drama is fun, but we need something different. It’s time to move beyond gossip and explore new topics.
I know I’ve already talked about how meaningful conversations are key to successful relationships with anyone. For me, it’s the hardest thing to do. I don’t know how to start, and I think a lot of people feel the same way. Guiding a conversation towards dreams and aspirations is a very vulnerable activity—vulnerability that takes time to develop.
A Prime Example
The best way I can explain my thought process is through an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Do you remember that episode when Cristina Yang gets reprimanded and is out of the lead for the solo surgery contest, then gets mad at Meredith? If you haven’t seen Grey’s Anatomy, you are living under a rock, and if I can’t convince you to watch after this, then you are missing out. But I’ll explain anyway.
In the episode, the main characters, second-year residents, reach the point in their careers where they’re vying for a solo surgery. These residents have interns—fresh out of med school, doing all the grunt work. The interns, as a form of practice, decide to do secret needlework on each other—sutures, shots, IV drips, etc. When the real time comes to perform on patients, they don’t want to mess up. Of course, things go wrong, and they run to their residents for help. The residents get their chief resident to save the student’s life, and by then, the Chief of Surgery finds out. Bam! Busted. Cristina gets all the blame because she failed to shut down the secret needlework and didn’t report the incident. She loses her spot in the solo surgery as punishment, while her friend Meredith, whose interns were also involved, doesn’t receive any repercussions.
Now, here’s the fine line: Should Meredith have stepped up for Cristina as a friend or as a coworker? Cristina wasn’t the only one at fault, but she was the only one reprimanded. In my opinion, Meredith threw Cristina under the bus by not taking responsibility for her interns’ actions. She also turned a blind eye to the fact that Christina needed her to stick up for her. I understand that no one wants to get in trouble with their boss, but morally, letting your best friend take all the blame when you know she never would have let it get that far is criminal.
On the other hand, how unprofessional would it look for Meredith to help out a friend rather than the hospital’s reputation? The bigger picture (the hospital’s legacy) is the main goal for some, while others think the relationship—the bond—is bigger than a job. Societal standards of keeping your boss happy are ingrained in our minds. So, who do we listen to?
We need to bring back the belief that relationships are bigger than the job. Loyalty to friendship is a lost art these days. Being ten toes down for somebody shouldn’t just be for romantic relationships. What about friendships? Knowing where your true loyalty lies is knowing what is truest to your heart. I know loyalty got a bad rap when the song “Loyalty” came out, but it’s 2024—let’s bring it back. Stand up for your friends, even if you guys have different bosses. Walk to their office and stand up for them! Like Meredith should have! Having someone’s back while they have yours isn’t childish or lame. That, my friend, shows you care.
Music to my Ears
If you need another way to show someone you care, how about giving them a song? This week I am delivering a song that reminds me of what happens when someone messes with my loved ones. It will be on sight and this song puts that in a musical symphony. Mr. Cadillac by Mac Saturn is an old deep blues that makes you want to just shake your hips. It has a fun message about meeting behind alleyways and what happens when you act all macho. Truth be told, I never ever been in a physical fight, but I seriously believe I can fight.
If you need help building conversation, music is always the best route. You can use this song to bond over shared music taste and let the conversation go from there. Hopefully, you guys can not only have the same taste but also trade artists that will expand your horizon. And when life gets tough just dance it out. Together.
Thank you for joining me on this journey at The Unfinished Times. Don’t forget to follow me for more insightful content, give a shout-out to spread the word, and consider signing up for our Co-Collective to be part of our vibrant community. And if you missed any posts from previous weeks, take a moment to catch up! Let’s continue exploring, sharing, and growing together! Lots of changes happening<3 See you in the next post~ XOXO
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