Song of the Week:
BUNKER/PREROLL by: mynameisntjmack, Tommy Richman
In my Cocoon Era
There comes a point in life when you look at yourself in the mirror and ask, “Have I changed?” The air is still, tension quietly rises within, and you begin to take a hard look at where you are. You go down the list—learning, personal goals, finances, love life, community, family—until you’re confronted with a hard realization: Am I the same person?
Psychoanalyzing my life, as if I hold a degree in psychology, has always been my specialty. It’s how I cope—dissecting every event through logic and reason rather than sitting with the raw emotions. I move through life not based on how I feel, but how I think before I feel. Sometimes, that’s a blessing; other times, it’s a curse.
I Gotta Find my Own Way
Recently, I hit a dead end. I can see my future if I stay on this path—and I don’t like it. It lacks purpose, drive, integrity, and, most importantly, self-worth. I’ve reached this point in life, perhaps a bit early, but it’s because I became too comfortable with my situation. I stopped trying—at work, at home, even at the gym. Adele said it best: “Complacency is the worst trait to have, are you crazy?” and I don’t want to be crazy in the eye’s of Adele.
In a capitalist society, complacency is practically built into the system. We’re encouraged to be content with the bare minimum—nine-hour days, to work five out of seven to have little to no time for leisure, limited benefits, minimum wages—to keep us trapped in a loop. When I look around, I see many people who are complacent, and they hate it. They wake up hating their lives, but not enough to change or start over. Sometimes it’s because they believe they can’t, other times it because they believe they don’t have to. But that difference—the ability to change—is what truly matters.
There’s an unspoken rule that once you choose a path, you must stick to it no matter what. Any deviation feels like failure, and not choosing a path at all feels fraudulent. People who know you feel betrayed, and those who think they know you don’t trust the change. But the truth is, turning over a new leaf isn’t an overnight event. It’s a gradual, invisible shift towards the best version of yourself.
Change is no stranger to me. I’ve dealt with it my entire life, starting when I was only ten months old, moving from Japan to the United States. Since then, change has been a constant. I like to believe I thrive in it, handling it better than most. But deep down, that’s not true. Deep down, change is unpredictable, random, and terrifying. I tolerate it because I’ve had to. It was necessary for survival in my different environments. But now that change is no longer a necessity, I ask myself: Can I still change if I no longer need to? That question scares me.
And so, I must prove it to myself—that I can change, not out of necessity, but because I want to. Wanting to change is reason enough to take the leap. Staying in this rut benefits no one—not me, not my self-esteem, and not the potential good I could bring to the world. The old me is no longer needed. I need to aim for something new in life.
As I enter my metamorphosis era, I want to encourage this idea of change. To embrace it with open arms and the happiness of new things. I’ve learned that the hardest part of change isn’t the transformation itself—it’s the guilt that comes with leaving the past behind. A lot of people don’t acknowledge their past—the shame and hurt is overwhelming. However, I see it as a reason to do something. And when you stop seeing change as abandoning who you were and start viewing it as becoming who you’re meant to be, it shifts everything.
I Feel Like the Lamest One
This week’s song, “BUNKER/PREROLL” by mynameisntjmack and Tommy Richman, feels like the perfect soundtrack for those moments of introspection and transformation. This collab blends a smooth, lo-fi vibe with raw, introspective lyrics. It captures the idea of psychoanalyzing yourself to the point you feel like the lamest one in the room. I know we have been there before, and it isn’t great feeling. It’s a reminder that even when you’re in the bunker, figuratively speaking, you can always be the main character of your story.
Thank you for joining me on this journey at The Unfinished Times. Don’t forget to follow me for more insightful content, give a shout-out to spread the word, and consider signing up for our Co-Collective to be part of our vibrant community. And if you missed any posts from previous weeks, take a moment to catch up! Let’s continue exploring, sharing, and growing together! Lots of life-ing is happening, so all I ask is a bit of grace<3 See you in the next post~XOXO
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