Song of the Week:
AnDroGay by: Boyish
Politics + Friendship=?
Every four years, I feel a familiar sense of dread â the kind that hangs in the air, stirred up by the tension of an upcoming elections. Itâs like the hours before a big match or the night before school starts. Standing on the edge of high-stakes uncertainty, knowing that once the votes are casted, the outcome is out of your control. This year is no different.
Just mentioning the word âpoliticsâ feels complicated, let alone discussing it. People often avoid the topic, including myself, and I understand why. Everyone has an opinions because, as Carol Hanisch said, âthe personal is political, the political is personalâ. When things get personal, emotions come to play. Those emotionsâespecially angerâcan pile up until they eventually explode. Weâve all been there and hate when it for happens. I get that. But in the same way that politics are personal, friendships are also personal. So, they kind of go together.
In the past, I hadnât encountered tensions revolving having political differences since my inner circle are people who look like me, share my interests, and have similar experiences. We bond over having these things in common. Plus, I live a blue state so itâs common to assume everyone have the same goals. Recently, Iâve met and encountered new people and places that have exposed me to a new and different perspective than my own. As an adult, itâs different now, versus when I was a teen, it was easy to argue with others and call them dumb. However, being a civil adult tests my ability to act with composure and articulate thought cohesively.
I must say, I also avoid talking about this because as it turns out I am very passionate about government and law. And I am still learning how to be vulnerable in friendships therefore, learning to express my political opinions without fear of being shut down or just disinterest. Especially with the heated political climate we live in today it adds fuel to the fire.
Caring is Not Too Cool
Iâm left wondering: What roles should politics play in our friendships? Have you ever noticed a shift in a friendship once politics enter the conversation?
Now, before you roll your eyes and say, âUgh, here we go, more division,â or âWho even cares about politics that deeply to talk to with a friend?â thatâs not what I am suggesting, and I challenge you to pause and think to yourself âwhy is it so bad to talk about it? Why are we so afraid to vocalize our political thoughts? We donât live in a dictatorship nor is God going to come down and strike you. Unless your views are rooted in hate and biases then, maybe youâre not safe from God. Difference in opinions and views stem from personal background and knowledge.
I think what often challenges people is the disagreement itself and figuring out how to navigate it in a healthy way, especially with friends. It also comes down to knowing how to argue effectively. I am currently reading Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs and he has already opened my eyes to how words hold meaning explicit and implicitly. I think everyone should read this! Growing up in a dysfunctional family, I wasnât taught to argue kindly or constructively, so I understand the hesitation many feel when debating with loved one. There is always that fearâwhat if they donât come back? Itâs a delicate balance, like walking on a tightrope, requiring boundaries, grace, forgiveness, and integrity. And while sometimes we fall off, the key is to land safely and keep trying, giving it 100% to get it right.
Dissagreements Aren’t Arguements
Navigating disagreements within friendship is something I struggle with because I am that person that keeps her peace in a non-healthy manner. I let it brew until I canât take it anymore and end up leaving the situation entirely. It is something I am working on but requires me to actually in these kinds of situations. All I can do is practice and never giving up.
We are not perfect people. And if politics turn into a major disagreement, try replacing defensiveness with curiosity. In the heat of debate, with emotions running high, this is probably the last thing on your mind. But if we train our brains to approach the conversation with curiosity instead of resentment, you might uncover pieces of the real story. Ask why. I know my parents hated as a kid I always asked why. “Why this? Why that? How come?” Recognize that curiosity did kill the cat but, satisfaction is what brought it back. Understanding the why is the balance and growth that redeems a friendship.
Music Solves Everything
As we embark on these tricky conversations and political disagreements, music can remind us of the emotional spectrum we all live in. this weekâs song âAnDroGayâ by Boyish is the perfect song example of how art explores complex feelings that we need to unpack. They create the dreamiest sounds to provide a safe place for reflection and identity. Let it be a reminder to seek why.
Thank you for joining me on this journey at The Unfinished Times. Don’t forget to follow me for more insightful content, give a shout-out to spread the word, and consider signing up for our Co-Collective to be part of our vibrant community. And if you missed any posts from previous weeks, take a moment to catch up! Let’s continue exploring, sharing, and growing together! The one-year anniversary is coming upon us, and I have big ideas coming soon! <3 See you in the next post~ XOXO
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