Lucky Girl by: Carlina


Fitness Journey

Welcome to The Unfinished Times, where we dive into new topics each week to open the floor to having meaningful conversations. To my new regulars, it is amazing to have you back and to those of you who are new I’m glad that you’re here with us today. This week, I want to talk about something that is very near and dear to my heart – one of the hardest and ongoing journeys that I rarely speak of: my fitness journey. It is something I am passionate about that I am sure my future-self will thank me for.

My journey to Lifting

 I was not an active kid growing up. I participated in activities here and there then completely stopped once I went to high school. I’ve always cared about what others thought of me, so my fear of “looking dumb” always loomed over me. Breaking that habit has been a continuous challenge.[1] It wasn’t until I met my partner that I adopted the habit of working out and slowly started to ease up. Through all the ups and downs, he was able to bring me back to Earth when I got full of myself or when I just didn’t feel like it. The only person that is stopping me is me, and addressing this struggle is one step towards finding comfortability.

This journey truly commenced back in 2021 when I was able to return to campus and use the free gym available to students. In the beginning, my partner being my PT, I was a tough client, I only agreed to do certain activities because of my fears and boy, was I stubborn as a rock. I was so afraid of others watching me that I would freeze up, too stiff to move my body. And if you know, stiffening up is never ideal when lifting heavy weights; it can lead to injuries and irreversible damage. But in my mind, I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me, scrutinizing my every move to see if I was a competition or a failure. It made me very self-conscious about my body, my clothes, my shoes, heck, even my music. It took a toll on my mental health, resulting in poor form, bad eating habits, and disappointing results.

One thing had to change, and it wasn’t anything on the outside, but it was all about the way I perceived myself and others.[2] It took numerous failed attempts and tears to reach a turning point. With the help of my partner, I was able to truly focus on my goal of working out, getting a FAT ass. As cheesy as it may sound, my goal with this is to initiate a conversation about the mental barriers associated with working out. This mindset is holding back numerous individuals from embracing athleticism, and it is so common that I want people to open up about it. By sharing my experience, I hope you don’t feel alone in your journey.

What helps me the most is keeping these three mottos in mind when I go to the gym or start to feel self-conscious:

  1. The reason you went to the gym is the same reason others went too. Everyone is on the same playing field, no one is fitter or has a bigger butt or bigger biceps than you and vice versa. The gym is not a competition with others, it’s a competition with yourself from yesterday. Should be asking yourself “Can I do better myself from yesterday?” if the answer is yes then, get that pump!
  2. If you believe you are a fit person, then act like a fit person. Do what fit people would do: exercise, set goals, eat well, have a good mindset, and so on. If you believe you are something, trick your mind to see that it is true, and eventually, it will become a reality. Just by thinking you are fit; your brain will wire you to act like your definition of fit.
  3. Don’t kill your streak. Even going to stand in the lobby for five minutes will count as a gym day. And then ask yourself if you really have low energy/effort to complete a full hour workout. It’s not that you don’t feel like going, it’s the effort it takes to get there and if that is your problem try that trick. Getting ready, grabbing water, putting shoes on, driving to the gym, getting out; it is a lot of effort before you begin.

These thoughts transformed the way I viewed myself and my fitness journey and helped me stay on track. My fear stems from how others view me, but what trumps all of that is how I view myself. Because where these thoughts truly come from is a place of insecurities that I placed on myself due to past experiences that have nothing to do with fitness. So, if I think of myself differently as a fit person then I simply am one. It is easier said than done and it has taken me over 3 years to get to this mental state. In the end, it is completely worth all the downs, I am going to be 80 years old squatting 150 pounds. In the comments, I encourage you to share, even if it hasn’t started physically. Everyone has a story and it’s important to acknowledge it.

 As we continue exploring this topic, we’ll dive into the nit and gritty of fitness. But that means you’ll have to stay tuned, and don’t worry, I got music for you. This week’s feature is a song that I sing on the top of my lungs. People always say that manifestation can be in the form of music, so I make it a mission to always play this song when I work out. I let go of everything to embody this song and next thing you know I finish my set strong. So, play this song next time you’re at the gym and we can rock out together.


[1] Still waiting on a someone to explore this idea of caring about what others think of you is actually really important to society. And I always give this example of two countries: Japan and the USA. Now, I have firsthand experience from both sides; the root of Japanese culture versus American culture is the viewpoint of yourself to others. By caring about what others think you behave in pleasant manner because you keep others in mind while if you don’t you behave any way you want. I am hitting on a little bit of Confucianism and individualism ideals which potentially can be a topic for another post!

[2] Furthermore, I am intentionally not discussing the influx of gym rats and gym babes on social media. I think we all know by now that this culture doesn’t really show how hard it actually is to go to the gym every day. Although I am not opposing to the glamourization of it, it does lead to fake atmosphere and false hope.


Thank you for joining me on this journey at The Unfinished Times! Don’t forget to follow me for more insightful content, give a shout-out to spread the word, and consider signing up for our Co-Collective to be part of our vibrant community. And if you missed any posts from previous weeks, take a moment to catch up! Let’s continue exploring, sharing, and growing together! See you in the next post~XOXO


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